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Sunday, May 9, 2010

mother's day

Today is Mother's Day. My husband has graciously given me the day off. I am sitting at the Borders Books cafe, sipping a latte, looking at magazines, and now writing in my blog. I am so thankful to have some time away from the kids, the house, the dog even. It's nice to have some time to myself without someone needing something from me.

I love being a mother. I have always wanted children and wanted to be a stay at home mom, and God has so graciously given me these desires of my heart. Becoming a mother has changed me in so many ways. It has brought out the worst in me at times, or at least has cast light on many of my faults. It's funny how parenting reveals parts of you that you did not know existed. My journey of motherhood did not start off the way I planned it. My hopes and dreams were crushed when at 20 weeks into my first pregnancy I was faced with the news that I was carrying a child with a severe birth defect. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I was afraid. The weeks and months that followed were a series of ups and downs, and in the end my precious first born son passed out of this life into the arms of Jesus. But thanks be to God, who is full of healing and grace, that He has turned my sorrow into joy and healed me in so many ways since then.

Despite a little fear and worry, my husband and I went on to conceive another child, and two more after that. I now have these three precious sons, gifts from God, who have been entrusted to my care. There are days that I want to run and hide because I feel like I cannot take another minute of crying, whining, bickering, sassy talk, disciplining, diaper changing, mouth wiping, and the list could go on. But when I go into their rooms to check on them before I go to bed, I am overjoyed and incredibly grateful that I have been chosen to be the mommy to these precious little boys. And then I wake up and do it all over again.
Thank you God for giving me the gift of motherhood.

1 comment:

  1. what a beautiful heartfelt post! ;)
    What a great hubby to send you out on your own!

    My sweetie sends me out at least once a week for a few hours, and I feel like a new woman every time!