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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Owen James

This post is dedicated to my sweet and precious Owen. He is the baby of the family and tomorrow he will be turning 2. I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed. It seems like yesterday that he was born. There have been so many days that I have wanted to move things along and move into the next phase of life, leaving the baby stage behind. But I found myself shedding tears in the van the other day when I was driving home from shopping for his birthday gifts. I think I was mourning the fact that our last baby is growing up, and there will be no more babies. Even though I have made peace with that, I still feel a little sad.

This little boy is so precious to me. What a gift from God. Before our son Elliot was born, my doctor told me that due to having three previous c-sections, I may not be able to handle having another pregnancy. We were just going to have to wait and see what my "insides" looked like when she opened me up to deliver Elliot. After the delivery, she said that things looked okay enough for us to try for another baby. She was hoping I would get "my girl." When Elliot turned 2, we found out that I was pregnant. We were really excited and decided not to find out the gender at the 20 week ultrasound. I had experienced terrible morning sickness with my other pregnancies, but this time around I was feeling great. Because of this I thought I was having a girl. Pretty soon the time came to deliver. As I laid there on the operating table, I was filled with anticipation. Would I have a daughter or another son? "It's a....boy..." my doctor's voice says with a hint of disappointment in her tone. Of course, another boy. I felt a little sad, but I was happy to have another healthy baby. After seeing him and holding him, all of those feelings of disappointment went away and I fell in love with Owen.

Our little Owen is the sweetest. He is our most affectionate kid. He loves to snuggle and give big hugs. He is a little lover and I love it! He is happy-go-lucky and over all a pretty content kid. He loves to make others laugh. He loves music and dancing. He tries to copy everything his older brothers do. He is very observant and picks up on things quickly. And to top it all off, he has the cutest little face. Our family is so blessed to have him in it.

 So happy 2nd birthday Owen! May you continue to grow big and strong, and bring blessing to all you come in contact with. I love you!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Winds of change?

So today starts a new year. A new year!?! I can't believe it! How did it come so quickly? I usually get a little depressed on New Year's day. I think it is because I know that the holidays are over and there is not a lot to look forward to for the next three months except cold, gray weather. I have never been officially tested for it, but I think I may have a touch of seasonal affective disorder(SAD). I struggle with a bit of melancholy in general, but it seems like I have many more periods of a depressed mood starting late fall through early spring. I really noticed it last year when we had days upon days of gray weather and no sunshine. I would think that the start of a new year would bring joy and delight. A time for renewal and starting over. Of starting new habits or new ventures. Of organizing and bettering myself. But somehow it doesn't.
Today is a gray and dreary day. There was a small period of sunshine late this morning, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. The wind is blowing fiercely. As I sat down to write this post, I looked out my kitchen window and saw how the wind was blowing the tall trees above my house. The branches were bending this way and that. And I started thinking about the phrase "the winds of change." Could it be that something is about to change? Or that something needs to change? There are many things I would like to change-bad habits, ways of responding to certain situations, old routines, etc. I am not going to make any new year's resolutions per se, but there are things I am going to try and do differently and things I will start doing. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully tomorrow brings some sunshine!